When I was a young boy, my favorite store was the Hobby Shop on Avenue S and Coney Island Avenue, in Brooklyn, New York. It was across the street from the dungaree factory, where I bought my first pair of bell bottoms for $6.

I earned $8 a week for walking Rusty, a very old beagle. I spent most of my money at the Hobby Shop. I started buying plastic car models. I bought one gas powered U-control plane, before discovering Estes Model Rockets.

I built and launched dozens of rockets, usually in Marine Park. I started with kits, then designed my own. I read the Estes “Technical Reports” to learn how to balance them and create fins. I aspired to be an aeronautical engineer, so I could design “real rockets” like Robert Goddard.

Estes Rockets were powered by disposable engines, rated by size and power. The engines were filled with gunpowder, ignited by a glowing coil of nichrome wire.

Where Have All The Rocket Engines Gone?

My salary rose after my fourteenth birthday, because “working papers” allowed me to work at Rose Seal Pharmacy after school. I wanted to use my additional income to build multi-stage rockets. I designed my first multi-stage rocket and brought my parts list to the Hobby Shop. Sadly, the clerk informed me that he could sell me the parts, but not the rocket engines. He explained that the engines were now illegal in New York City. I was supposed to order the engines by mail, and launch rockets in Nassau County, outside the city limits.

Bad Science

I ordered a few engines from the Estes mail order catalog. However, they were more expensive and took a week to arrive. After checking a map, I asked Dad to drive me to Eisenhower Park on Long Island, to launch them. Dad replied, “Forget about it. I will test it with you.”

We tested my multi-stage design in Marine Park. Nevertheless, model rocketry had lost its charm. I did not want to break the law or wait a week for new engines. I stopped building rockets.

Evil Science

Cubify Cubex I would like to buy a 3D printer. I am not sure how I would use it, but I would like to try building a gun.

I do not want to kill anyone. I never imagined creating a gun from a printer. I would like to try it.

However, I should have downloaded the design before yesterday. When I checked the site today, I found:

This file has been removed from public access at the request of the US Department of Defense Trade Controls. Until further notice, the United States government claims control of the information.

I would still like to try building a gun from a printer. I expect to find other designs.

If my daughters asked me about the law, I would give them Dad’s answer, “Forget about it. I will test it with you.”

Cover of Sociopathic Surgeon How should you promote your eBook / ePub?

My best results came from offering it free for five days, using Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) Select service.

Sociopathic Surgeon was free from February 26 to March 2, 2013. It was downloaded by more people in five days, than the previous year.

I will explain how I promoted my eBook. I hope you find my experiences helpful.

Free Book Days with Kindle Direct Publishing Select

KDP Select Box I removed my book from iTunes and Nook to join Amazon’s KDP Select for three months. KDP Select allows me to offer my book free for five days out of every 90 days. However, my book can only be sold on Amazon during this period.

NOTE: KDP is set to renew automatically. I learned about this when Amazon notified me that I was violating KDP Select Terms because my book was available on iTunes.

Clear Auto Renew

KDP Renewal Box Login to your KDP Dashboard.

Clear “Automatically renew” to prevent unwanted renewals.

Manage Promotions

manage KDP promotions Click “Actions” -> “Manage Promotions” to open “Promotions Manager.” Select your free book days. It is helpful to select days at the beginning of your KDP Select period, because you must wait 90 days for your next promotion.

My Brief Best Seller

I wrote Sociopathic Surgeon because I wanted to write a Best Seller about alcoholics.

Sociopathic Surgeon was a pseudo–best–seller while it was free.

How To Be Number One on the Kindle Store

Amazon Rank sample

OK, not the entire store. I was tops in in Medical Thriller and second in Medical Fiction for a few hours. My sales rank plummeted after my free book days.

Getting Started

I support myself as a Web programmer, so it seemed natural to create SociopathicSurgeon.com to use on emails / links. I added it to search engines, hoping it would appear in search results. I added pages and “Like” buttons for Facebook and Google+.

None of this was helpful.

I sold more books after I started using my Amazon link on emails, Tweets and comments.

I opened an Amazon.com Associates account to earn more on each sale. I created a link with my associate’s code to the link and used bitly to shorten the link.

Blogging

Impaired Doctors, a topic related to my novel, did not receive much traffic.

More potential readers visited My Kindle Book Is Free For The Next Five Days. Sadly, readers ignored:

I need reviews. Sociopathic Surgeon has one four star Amazon review. More reviews and sales will encourage me to finish the sequel!

Sociopathic Quotes

Sociopathic Quotes I copied and pasted 300 quotations into a database, and wrote a WordPress plugin to use them.

I sent “Sociopathic Quotes” to Twitter with a link to Sociopathic Surgeon on The Kindle Store. I wrote a WordPress widget to display the Tweeted quotes on my blog.

For example, I recently Tweeted:

I could stop your heart in a second, and do it so it would never be found.

I think it is cute, but it has not increased sales.

Free Book Announcements

I was not sure which days of the week were best. My free days included a weekend.

I submitted an announcement to the following sites:

NameDescription
Author Marketing Club Join to announce your free book. Many other services.
Awesome Gang Free Book Promotion for Authors. Distributes a daily email with free books sorted by category.
eBookLister.net Daily email, Web site provides links to free Kindle books.
Free Book Dude Free Book Dude features free fiction and non-fiction books. @FreeBookDude on Twitter.

Other sites found my book from these sites, and a few Tweets / reTweets.

Author Forums

I posted a “free book announcement” on the KDP author forum and two LinkedIn groups: Writers and Bloggers and Ebooks, Ebook Readers, Digital Books and Digital Content Publishing.

My first review came from the KDP forum.

What’s Next?

I want to renew KDP Select for another free promotion. I would like to try different days and submit to more sites.

I will update this article after my next promotion.

6450 Bear Grylls with Inno McKeown How do I contact Bear Grylls? is the most common question I have been asked, since I started writing about Bear Grylls in 2007.

Several readers asked me this week. I wrote this article, with easy instructions, because my 2009 answer and 2012 answer are both wrong. The Web keeps changing. I added a message to my previous instructions to read this article.

It is harder to send Bear Grylls a message in 2013. Bear Grylls only has a contact page for scouting and speaking engagements.

Bear Grylls still has an Ask Bear page. However, you can only read old questions.

What Is The Best Way To Send A Message to Bear Grylls?

Use Twitter. It is easy. I will explain how to do it.

  1. Login to Twitter or Join Twitter.
    • If you are joining, take your time to create a profile with a photo and your location. Your photo will be displayed with your message.
    • Anyone can join. Twitter is free and there is no minimum age.
  2. Write a short message. Twitter messages must be less than 140 characters. Everything counts, including spaces and periods.
    • Check your message for spelling errors!

Is Your Message Perfect?

If Bear Grylls answers your question, a million people will see your message, because Bear Grylls has about a million followers on Twitter.

An Example from a Question I Received

A reader asked if Bear Grylls would be visiting India. If Bear Grylls was here, I would ask:

Do you have any plans to visit India?

Twitter is like email. Instead of an email address, I must add Bear Grylls’s name to the question. Like this:

@BearGrylls Do you have any plans to visit India?

An Example From a Question I Asked Bear Grylls

@beargrylls Do you have any plans to visit India?

— Mitchell Miller on January 6, 2013

Sadly, Bear Grylls has not replied. He might reply to you. You will never know unless you try!

need work I was laid off my job as Lead Developer of a Web startup on August 15, 2012. I was sad, changing email and API accounts. Nevertheless, I expected to put my unexpected free time to good use.

I missed riding my bicycle. I wanted to promote my novel, Sociopathic Surgeon. I needed a new job.

What should I do first?

I decided to clean my apartment. I wanted to treat myself to a maid service. However, I was unemployed. Should I start in the kitchen or the bathroom? I thought about this in bed. I took a nap.

I got up to make coffee an hour later. I drank coffee and checked email in bed. It was sad, mostly work-related. I read Ron Paul’s Texas Straight Talk for inspiration. I stopped for dinner and recharged my iPad.

I realized that I was depressed during dinner. The kitchen and bathroom were daunting. I needed something easier. What would cheer me up? I had free time, I should find a girlfriend. I stopped drinking, but I could get dressed and walk to a bar.

I am 5'9", 145 now. I lost thirty pounds, have clothing in all sizes. Sadly, I discovered that everything I wanted to wear was dirty. I needed clean clothes more than a girlfriend.

My dirty laundry is in a deep closet under the attic. Four or five large plastic bags of dirty laundry fell out when I opened the door. I left them there. My iPad had enough power to order new clothes with second-day delivery. I went to sleep satisfied.

Day 2

I forced myself to take a bicycle ride. Not my challenging, hilly course; a flat ride around downtown Lexington, Kentucky. I was in lousy shape. I checked one bag of dirty laundry after dinner. Nice clothes, but they smelled. I put the bags deeper in the closet so I could open the door easily.

I had accomplished enough. I read Ron Paul speeches until I fell asleep.

Day 3

Prepared for new clothing with sixty situps and planks before breakfast. I had a delightful breakfast until I saw my clothing receipt. I needed a job more than clean clothing. I edited my resume until new clothes arrived.

New clothes were outstanding. I showered and changed my outfit. I am supposed to be sharing a washing machine with my landlord, but she moved it and she was not home. I washed my previous outfit in the bathtub. I changed my sheets. I started a new dirty laundry pile outside the closet with the sheets and whatever I found under the bed.

New laundry pile was brilliant. A constant reminder. New pajama bottoms fit perfectly. I vowed to buy another pair with my first paycheck. I would apply for jobs tomorrow.

Day 4

I woke up at sunrise without a schedule. I removed my pajama bottoms after sixty situps / planks. I showered, shaved, dressed in my washed outfit, went outside. A glorious Summer day. I had to ride my bicycle.

I wasn’t tired after I rode 12 hilly miles. I stopped for a drink and energy bar before riding downtown. At home, I treated myself to a personal favorite, three scrambled eggs with mustard and pretzels. I drank a quart of milk.

I answered a few emails before I slept until sunrise.

Day 5

My back and legs hurt. My pajama bottoms seemed old. I looked at an old man in the mirror. I will collect Social Security in a few years. I wanted it now.

I stayed in bed, registering for job sites. I was forced to get up because most sites require a real computer to upload files.

Remarkably, I had forgotten that I am more productive at my desk. I concluded that the iPad was behind my depression. I turned it off. I celebrated by ordering three pairs of pajama bottoms.

Days 6-10

I could read mail in bed with my iPhone, but needed to sit at my desk to reply. I improved my resume, uploaded to more sites. I felt productive, so I went for a bicycle ride to loosen up my back. I reinjured my back, stayed in bed with iPhone.

Days 11-30

More job applications were sent and rejected.

Used iPhone to explore Wikipedia in bed. I sent a daughter their list of online dating services. I clicked several links before sending it. In a couple of hours, I had two apps and many notifications.

I answered and rated hundreds of weird personality questions. I was rewarded with the opportunity to answer weirder questions on the phone, from potential partners who might be hundreds of miles away.

My first favorite lonely woman, a 96% match, was 400 miles away. I sent her inspirational messages. She sent meaningful replies. I wanted to meet her.

Then I received a thoughtful inquiry from a 94% match, 1500 miles away. We spoke for an hour, agreeing about everything.

I stayed up after that call, wondering whom I should visit first. Sunrise cleared me up. I needed a job more than a long distance girlfriend. I deleted my dating apps and profiles.

Days 31-

Felt better after I learned that it is normal to be depressed while unemployed.

Why Is Daddy Crying? wore the same sweater for three months, until his wife made it disappear.

Joe Barlow switched to sweat pants after 192 days. Barlow said:

With the stress, boredom, and depression that goes along with an unemployed lifestyle, sweatpants become ideal. The comfort, ease of putting on, and especially the room for weight gain makes sweatpants the best clothing option.

A compelling argument. Alas, my sweatpants are somewhere in the closet.

better living by cyberartist Patients expect medical doctors to be “normal.”

Surgeons and anesthesiologists wield heavenly powers in operating rooms. But they make mistakes. Some are negligent. Some are impaired, self-medicating, insane.

The American Medical Association considers addicts and sociopaths “impaired.”

Impaired Doctors

An impaired physician is “one unable to fulfill professional or personal responsibilities because of psychiatric illness, alcoholism, or drug dependency.”

William Stewart Halsted is the most famous impaired physician.

Halsted, like his contemporary, Sigmund Freud, became addicted to cocaine after experimenting on himself. Halstead tried to cure himself with morphine. He was addicted to morphine for most of his life.

Halsted introduced rubber gloves, surgical gowns, bedside hospital charts. He performed one of the first gallbladder operations, removing his Mother’s gallbladder on a kitchen table. However, Halsted’s performance declined through the years. He kept his job because he received privileges as the first Chief of Surgery of Johns Hopkins Hospital, including a five-month “Summer” vacation.

Halsted’s cure seems ridiculous. Nevertheless, Freud recommended cocaine as a cure for morphine addiction.

The AMA acknowledged impaired physicians in 1973. The Sick Physician concluded:

it is a physician’s ethical responsibility to take cognizance of a colleague’s inability to practice medicine adequately by reason of physical or mental illness

Several programs were created for addicted physicians. Caduceus, AA for physicians, allows them to attend twelve-step meetings without meeting their patients.

What Happens to Impaired Doctors?

Anesthesiologists have the highest rate of addiction. Anesthesiologists obtain drugs from a locked narcotics cabinet before a procedure, but patients do not always receive all of these drugs.

One anesthesiology resident injected himself with a patient’s fentanyl, then replaced it with water. Resident used gas to induce sleep. However, this Doctor overmedicated himself and fell face–first into the patient’s open belly.

Resident developed a personal problem the following day and needed to relocate. He was given a glowing recommendation and sent to a residency program in another state.

What is a Sociopath?

From the Mayo Clinic definition:

People with antisocial personality disorder typically have no regard for right and wrong. They may often violate the law and the rights of others, landing in frequent trouble or conflict. They may lie, behave violently, and have drug and alcohol problems. And people with antisocial personality disorder may not be able to fulfill responsibilities to family, work or school. Antisocial personality disorder is sometimes known as sociopathic personality disorder. A sociopath is a particularly severe form of antisocial personality disorder.

Sociopaths do not think they have a problem. Mayo Clinic explains:

antisocial personality disorder is essentially a way of being, rather than a curable condition

Natural Born Sociopaths

In 2012, Yale completed a study that identifies COL25A1 as a common gene in sociopathic addicts.

What Can a Sociopathic Doctor Do?

Cover of Sociopathic Surgeon A sociopathic physician can use their medical license as a weapon.

There are examples in my novel, Sociopathic Surgeon. Read a free sample now on your Kindle, Nook or iPad / iPhone. I hope you are surprised.

sign at funeral for David Nolan I met Jayne in November 1981, and we decided to get married a few weeks later. Jayne’s condition for marriage was that I quit my silly job at the bank, where I spent most of my time writing short stories, and get a real job.

I was interested in computers, so we asked Neil, my friend from high school, who owned an employment agency, what I needed to learn to get a programming job. Neil advised me to take the entrance exam for the Intensive Programming course at NYU School of Continuing Education. Neil said the 12 week course was considered the best way to learn programming quickly, and it would enable me to find an entry-level job. The only catch was that I had to take a three-hour entrance exam, because (I think) there were 12,000 applicants for 800 spots.

I was extremely nervous about the test, so Jayne and I spent the night before the exam getting drunk. I took the test slightly hungover. It was the most difficult test of all-time, and had nothing to do with programming. One part of the test displayed exploded views of Defense Department products, and I had to draw lines to show how the parts fit together.

I met Jayne met after the exam, and we waited on a long line to get my results. Finally at the front of line, several people in front of us had not made the cut, so I nervously asked, “Did I pass?”

A young lady replied, “You have an eminently respectable score. You have the 28th highest score, and will be placed in our advanced class.” I learned later that the top 30 scores were placed in this class, so I just made the cut.

Jayne said, “You see? You were worried about nothing!”

The Class

My instructor was Ed Anderson, who claimed to be the only faculty member who had not finished high school. He gleefully told the class that he left his application incomplete, and under education, said “11 years.” He added that he had thoroughly intimidated his interviewer, who was afraid to ask questions, and simply hired him. Ed claimed NYU discovered his lack of a college degree several years later, but he kept his job, since he had not lied, and was remarkably intelligent.

After initimidation, Ed’s second favorite activity was smoking cigarettes. Several times a day, he would distribute a problem for us to solve, saying, “I will be in the hall, smoking, until Mickey points to 10. Then I expect to return, and find that everyone has finished this exercise.”

While the class struggled to solve Ed’s problem, he observed us through a glass pane on the door, sucking the daylights out of 100mm cigarettes.

We had classes from 9-5, breaking 12-1 for lunch, and then “computer room” for daily homework. When the computer room closed at 1 AM, there were always a few students grumbling that they needed more time!

Most of the students were business types, over 30, who had been sent to the course by their employers. But there were two young people, both wearing tie-dyed t-shirts on their first day, David and me, so we went for coffee together, and became friends.

Life on The Lower East Side

I grew up in Brooklyn, and very little shocked me, until my first visit to David’s apartment, on East 11th Street between Avenue A and Avenue B. First, you had to pass through a crowd of drug dealers and customers to get to the building’s entrance. This bothered me, but David thought it was great. “They keep the block safe,” he explained, “because they don’t want anyone to rob their customers.”

David’s apartment was also scary. He was the youngest of a group that “homesteaded” this formerly abandoned building. As I recall, tenants contributed $100/month to a fund, which would eventually be given to NYC to buy the building. The building was a mess. The windows of David’s studio faced the backyard, which was covered by a couple of feet of garbage, including some very large blocks of concrete.

The interior was worse. Several areas, including the bathroom, were missing pieces of floor, so you would see the downstairs tenants if you were both using the bathroom. Sensing my discomfort, he said, “Let’s get something to eat.”

“Something” turned out to be a spleen sandwich which only cost about $1.25 at an Italian place on First Avenue. It was advertised using the Italian word for spleen, which I forget, and was barely edible.

When we returned to his apartment, he opened the door gingerly, grabbed a broom, and whacked a plastic garbage can a few times to make the mice scatter before we entered. That was enough for me, and I suggested that it would be more comfortable to head Uptown, and do our homework where I lived.

The Taj Mahal

Jayne and I lived in a one bedroom apartment at the corner of West 103rd Street and Riverside Drive. Instead of drug dealers, you passed through a doorman to enter our building, and there was no garbage or rodents.

Jayne and I had a lovely, 8 foot, Brunswick Heirloom pool table in our living room. After homework, I invited David to have a drink, and play pool, while I waited for Jayne to get home. She joined us, and we played for awhile, before ordering Chinese food. David had an incredible knack for charming women, and got along great with Jayne, until about 10 PM, her bedtime, when she asked me to send him home. When I informed David, who was a little drunk, he seemed crushed, and said rather loudly, “But this is the Taj Mahal! I never want to leave!” Jayne thought this was so funny, she let him sleep on our convertible sofa. But the name stuck. After school, he would come over smiling, and say, “Let’s go to the Taj Mahal!”

Jayne also liked David’s Dad, Wally, and we met him at his office a few times. I only met his Mom once, when Jayne drove David to Jericho for something.

Mainframes and Microcomputers

Jayne was an anesthesiology resident during the week, and we had similar incomes while I was working at the bank. When I was unemployed, she supplemented her income working Saturday nights at an emergency room. Since we were still in our “newlywed stage,” I used to visit her about 10 PM, and leave with her at 6 AM. This hospital was not very busy, and her supervisor brought his new Apple II computer, and Byte Magazine to pass the time.

Byte frustrated me, because I could barely understand anything! I discussed this with Jayne, and we decided it would be better for me to learn how to program the new microcomputers, instead of learning COBOL and BAL/370.

So Jayne, using her maiden name, wrote me a note that I had to withdraw from school because of migraine headaches.

I left after five weeks. David completed the course, but never used his certificate. He began volunteering at WBAI-FM, explaining that he was getting a chance to prepare for an FCC license exam, so he could host his own radio show. I cannot recall how he supported himself, but he was often at “The Taj Mahal” with Jayne and me. He got along better with Jayne than anyone I met during our marriage. But he never slept there again. I was instructed to provide him with Subway tokens to leave, when Jayne wanted to go to sleep.

However, Jayne liked him so much, that after Maxine was born in January 1985, David was her first, and only, babysitter for a few months.

Dead Air

Shortly after Maxine’s birth, David’s persistence paid off, when he became the host of “Dead Air” – live performances of the Grateful Dead, on (I think) Sunday nights from 3-6 AM.

Of course, I had to visit him, and it was fun. His friend Doug, who had a huge Harley-Davidson logo tattooed on his skinny chest, followed The Dead, and recorded many performances on a portable DAT recorder, wearing a baseball cap, with two microphones sticking out the top.

After 1985

Jayne and I moved to Georgia at the end of 1985, and I was almost killed a few months later. I was still on crutches the next time I met David. I visited Manhattan for something, and got a room at The Chelsea Hotel, where I had always wanted to stay. I met David, but since it was so difficult for me to get around, we spent two days eating delivered Chinese food, and watching TV in my hotel room, which thankfully had two beds.

I saw him about a year later, when we both stayed in his greatly improved apartment, and spent a day or two in the East Village. David enjoyed hanging out at “Life Café“ where we played backgammon.

I tried contacting him after Jayne and I separated in 1992, but was unsuccessful. Several people were angry at me for breaking up with Jayne, and I mistakenly thought he was one of them, because he never called back. I called him again about 1998, and he was not angry, but said he might have had a problem with his answering machine. He was working as a DJ at Wetlands Preserve, and invited me to see Blues Traveler and Joan Osborne. Shows were sold out, so I had to ask for him, and he came out for a second, to let me in.

I also visited him a couple of times when he was was the engineer for “New York and Company“ on WNYC. I was truly amazed at all the stuff he had learned!

I also met him once when he was having trouble setting up a Mac database for his friend John, to maintain a huge amount of poetry recordings.

That might have been the last time I saw him. When I returned to Manhattan, I called him a couple of times at the 92nd Street Y, where he was audio archivist, to meet for lunch, but our schedules were never compatible.

Recently

Before he setup his Facebook account, I kept in touch with David through occasional emails to MySpace. I always sent birthday greetings, partly because his birthday, Valentine’s Day, was so easy to remember.

I wanted to mail him a paper card this year, but somehow never got around to it. I added a calendar reminder to send him one next year.

Alas, it’s too late. So long buddy, I miss you.