May I Please Have a Clif Bar Without Maggots?

I blissfully avoided television for several years, except for New York Giants games, until I married Karen. Karen wanted a TV.

Although I enjoy Law & Order: Criminal Intent reruns and occasional non-Giants football games, I try to avoid news programs. Most of the news is annoying.

Karen knew that I disliked news programs. Therefore, I was surprised when she called me to watch a news story about maggots.

What Are Maggots?

Maggots are the larvae of flies. Basically, they are baby flies. Maggots cause myasis, a disease that you want to avoid. Most maggots enter a body through open wounds. However, you can swallow them, if they are in your food.

Are There Maggots In My Food?

I raced into the living room to watch Amy Nappier of Austin, Texas, describe her reaction to finding maggots in a peanut butter caramel Clif Bar. Ms. Napier said:

I couldn't believe it was in my mouth and I was actually chewing on it

Ms. Napier wrapped the remains of her Clif Bar and notified the company. The Clif Bar Company described the baby insects as:

an Indian meal moth and it can get in bar through microscopic pores in the bag

Are There Maggots in Clif Bars?

I eat lots of Peanut Toffee Buzz Clif Bars while I ride my bicycle. They are by far, my favorite bicycle food. Peanut Toffee Buzz Clif Bars are a medium glycemic food. They keep me full and energized. Peanut Toffee Buzz Clif Bars also contain a small amount of caffeine. I can eat one an hour, during a bicycle ride.

I stopped eating for them for a couple of months, after Clif Bar & Company released a new version in 2011. The current version is sweeter, with fewer peanuts.

I have eaten hundreds of Peanut Toffee Buzz Clif Bars. I never got sick or found insects in them.

My only gripe is the stupid text on the back, which is attributed to Gary Erickson, who created Clif Bars. Gary's text starts with with:

For me, European bike trips have never been about riding from Point A to Point B

I sent Gary Erickson an email, asking him why he was not riding in California. I offered to join him on a bicycle trip through California, hoping that he would extol the virtues of riding through the USA on a future Clif Bar package. Gary did not reply.

Nevertheless, I really enjoy Peanut Toffee Buzz Clif Bars. I ignore the text.

Letters from Clif Bar

Clif Bar's response to Amy Nappier bothered me more than Gary's text about riding his bicycle in Europe. The FDA allows small amounts of impurities in foods. So I checked to see if anyone found maggots in Peanut Toffee Buzz Clif Bars.

I found interesting info on reddit. User DonutPlains uploaded photos of maggots on a Chocolate Brownie Clif Bar. Moonlights posted the most interesting comment:

When I lived in the Bay Area years ago, my friends and I would regularly go to the dumpsters behind the Cliff Bar factory. These days, those dumpsters are seriously under lock and key, but back then they were pretty accessible.

Inside the dumpster would be a perfectly stacked cube of cliff bar boxes. Each box held six of the cartons you see in a store, where each carton has 20 or so actual cliff bars in them. Everything would be perfectly sealed, and they wouldn't even be expired. We'd load up a bike trailer with hundreds of cliff bars and be set for a while.

The thing is, we would very commonly encounter moth-ridden Cliff Bars. These were perfectly sealed and directly behind the "factory," though, meaning that there was very little chance for the moths to have been introduced by a third party.

Apparently, there are insects inside some sealed Clif Bars. I hope I never see them!

More Foods with Maggots

I searched for more complaints about maggots in foods. I found a few, but unlike the Clif Bars, they did not include photographs.

• Kirkland brand baby formula from costco
• Similac baby formula
• Meow Mix Cat food
• Purina Kitten chow

I found many complaints about pet foods. A lawsuit claimed that pet food:

Has Historically Contained Such Items as Euthanized Dogs and Cats

Wishing you and your pets a maggot-free day!