Blinded by Biorhythm

Glenn and I bonded during eleventh grade. We enjoyed bicycles and danger.

Glenn lived in a large brick house with his parents, grandmother and younger sister. Student protests kept us out of school. So I went to Glenn’s house almost every weekday during the Spring school semester. We rarely discussed weekends. I worked on weekends.

Teenagers Without a Cause

Glenn and I created adventures.

Glenn’s grandmother lived in a third floor apartment. After she died, we practiced jumping from her apartment window to a bush. We covered the thorny bush with two blankets.

Telephone Games

The telephone company helpfully mounted a junction box on a backyard tree. We wasted many hours sitting on a branch of this tree. Because Glenn connected alligator clips to a landline telephone, so we could interfere with conversations.

Glenn enjoyed saying, “This is the telephone company. We have an emergency. Please hang up now. Do not attempt to use your telephone for 15 minutes.”

Sometimes we listened to conversations for a few minutes, before injecting our opinions.

My favorite line was, “Who gave you this number? Hang up now! Don’t ever call here again!”

Prospect Park

Prospect Park Drive, part of the 526 acre Prospect Park, was the best place to ride a bicycle in Brooklyn. But rides to and around Prospect Park required lots of energy.

Glenn preferred afternoon rides: he thought our energy peaked six hours after we woke up.

Chambers Street

Sometimes we traveled by Subway to Chambers Street, in lower Manhattan. Chambers Street had great shopping. Glenn bought discounted music albums. We bought athletic supplies at Modell’s.

Chambers Street was best known for stores selling unusual scientific and electronic equipment. Glenn had a soldering iron, and we built a few gadgets from parts.

One day, we bought a Biomate Biorhythm Calculator. We returned to Chambers Street for a second Biomate a few days later.

As a result, we planned activities around our biorythm curves.

How Does Biorhythm Work?

Biorhythm uses three timed cycles to predict human performance.

• 23 days = physical
• 28 days = emotional
• 33 days = intellectual

Your performance rises and falls according to your position in the cycle.

Does Biorhythm Work?

Your three cycles rise and fall, as shown on sample chart. Personal performance is supposed to match your chart. Let’s review three examples.

Clark Gable

Biorhythm author George Thommen warned actor Clark Gable about a low physical biorhythm cycle. Clark Gable died on this critical day.

But according to Dr. Gabe Mirkin, Mr. Gable smoked three packs of cigarettes a day: despite previous heart attacks.

Dallas Cowboys

Dallas Cowboys football team embraced biorhythm during the 1970’s.

We tried to find out who was going to have a bad day and who was going to have a good day  —Gil Brandt, vice-president of personnel

It worked once. Dallas beat Denver in a Super Bowl, while Denver quarterback Craig Morton had low biorhythm scores.

Dallas stopped checking biorhythms after the 1979 Super Bowl. Because the Pittsburgh Steelers won a close game 35-31 – while quarterback Terry Bradshaw had low biorhythms.

Reggie Jackson

Reggie Jackson faced three pitchers during game six of the 1977 World Series. But he hit three home runs on three first pitches.

It is the greatest batting performance in baseball history.

Alas, Mr. Jackson’s three biorhythm cycles were all low during this game.

Afternoon Drives

Glenn’s Mom drove a Rambler Classic, like the photo above this text.

I guess we behaved, because she ignored us. But we learned her schedule.

Glenn’s Mom returned from work about 3 PM. She napped until about 5 PM.

Weightlifting

I did not enjoy weightlifting.

But Glenn admired Joe Weider. He lifted weights in the basement from 2-3 PM on Mondays, Wednesdays and Friday. Glenn kept a log with his exercises and measurements.

Staycation?

Glenn borrowed Mom’s car after weighlifting. He returned her car about 4 PM. I think Glenn had a Learner’s Permit, but not a regular Driver’s License.

We did not have time to travel. So Glenn practiced towing me around residential blocks in the Flatbush neighborhood of Brooklyn, on my bicycle.

My left hand held the Rambler’s passenger door handle. My right hand steered my bicycle. All the car windows were down, so we could speak to each other.

Glenn and I practiced many right turns: until I could let go of door handle – and catch up to the car after the turn.

It was dangerous, but lots of fun!

Guided by Biorhythm

Glenn and I compared our biorhythms: hoping to share peaking cycles.

We took our bicycles on the subway to ride in Central Park during one shared peak.

One day, we felt good and also had high biorhythm cycles. So Glenn towed me in the right lane – for one block on Flatbush Avenue. It was the busiest street in the neighborhood.

I remember seeing a man opening the driver’s door of a Volkswagon with a screwdriver. I wanted to say something. But I had to look ahead for obstructions, while Glenn towed me at over thirty miles per hour.

Glenn finally pulled over on a side street. I removed the front wheel and placed my bicycle on a blanket in the Rambler’s back seat.

Glenn stopped borrowing Mom’s car to tow me. Our biorhythm calculators went into a drawer.