Roger Goodell On Friday, (June 26, 2009) Drew Rosenhaus, who represents Plaxico Burress, Tweeted:

There are now 5 teams interested in Plaxico. I expect more teams to enter the mix over the next few weeks as well.

I thought it was hysterical, but apparently NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, was annoyed. Because nfl.com reported, that shortly after his agent's silly Tweet, Burress was notified by Adolpho Birch, Vice President of Labor and Law Policy of NFL, that his case was being reviewed by Commissioner Goodell.

Last season's Personal Conduct Policy prohibits:

Possession of a gun or other weapon in any workplace setting, including but not limited to stadiums, team facilities, training camp, locker rooms, team planes, buses, parking lots, etc., or unlawful possession of a weapon outside of the workplace

Burress is guaranteed some sort of suspension, and does not need a contract to be suspended, because under Personal Conduct Policy, the NFL can suspend:

unsigned veterans who were under contract in the prior League Year

I think he will be suspended for a full season, because he is unsigned. Imagine if he drew an eight game suspension, and then, despite Brafman's best efforts, was tried, convicted, and sentenced, before he could play?

Where's the Deal?

Plaxico Burress's attorney, Benjamin Brafman, has been unable to negotiate a deal with NYC, to keep his client out of jail, for over six months. On March 15th, he requested an adjournment, instead of getting it over with. Burress and Brafman do not have to return to Manhattan Criminal Court until September 23rd — after the season has started — which makes no sense to me.

But it sure made sense to Brafman, because after court he boasted:

“I do not see any reason why he should not be able to play this entire season. Even if there is an indictment, it's inconceivable to me in its present posture that this case would proceed to trial until the spring of 2010.

Stacked Deck

I think Plaxico Burress is going to jail, because Mayor Bloomberg said:

“I think it would be an outrage if we didn't prosecute to the fullest extent of the law, particularly people who live in the public domain.”

In 2001, Brafman, working with legendary attorney Johnny Cochran, managed to get Puff Daddy acquitted of weapons and bribery charges, despite 100 witnesses.

Brafman attacked the credibility of the witnesses, saying:

“They want you to conclude on the basis of two pimps from the street, a deadbeat dad, and two people in the club that gave conflicting stories, and lawsuits testimony that has no logic, no merit and does not make sense.”

This time, Brafman does not have Cochran, and there are very credible witnesses.

Plaxico Burress Plaxico Burress, who is listed as 6'5", 232 pounds, is afraid to go to jail.

His attorney, Benjamin Brafman, announced that he has been unable to reach an agreement with New York City, to keep his client out of jail, and will request an adjourment when the most idiotic New York Giant of all-time, returns to court on Monday.

Burress is charged with two counts of criminal possession of a weapon, and faces a mandatory sentence of 3 1/2 years in jail, for each offense.

As previously noted, Mayor Bloomberg, the number one fellow you should not annoy, is very annoyed, because he expects Burress to be a role model for youngsters.

Bloomberg has every right to be annoyed. You simply cannot let people get away with shooting unlicensed handguns in Manhattan night clubs.

Despite rumors that Jets and Bears want to sign him, I think the 31 year-old Burress’s NFL career is over.

Consider that Brafman, a high-profile attorney, who previously defended “Puff Daddy” and Michael Jackson, has been unable to reach an agreement for several months. Plus — Burress still faces some kind of punishment, from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

I think Burress will serve three years, and then be suspended for another year, which will end his career.

Hey Plax! The next time you want to stuff something down your pants, try a codpiece, instead of a loaded gun!

Plaxico Burress He’s back!

Plaxico Burress briefly appears in Manhattan Criminal Court today. His attorney, Benjamin Brafman, is expected to request an adjournment, to negotiate a plea bargain for the idiotic wide receiver.

In case you forgot, Burress was charged with two counts of second degree criminal possession of a weapon, and faces a minimum sentence of three and a half years.

Special Case

New York Times reported that in 2008, 90% of the 986 cases of this type, were settled for reduced charges.

Unfortunately for Burress, those statistics do not apply to his case, because Mayor Bloomberg said:

“They are the role models for our kids, and if we don’t prosecute them, to the fullest extent of the law, I don’t know who on Earth we would. It makes a sham, a mockery of the law.”

Even Stupider

Three months before he shot himself, Burress signed a $35 million contract which will probably be nullified if he goes to jail. He lost at least $2 million of salary and bonus last season.

Burress had one of the most expensive Saturday nights of all time — and don’t forget that NFL will fine him too.

Although General Manager Jerry Reese said:

“Right now he is still a Giant and if things work out and he’s on board with what we want coming back, we’d love to have him back.”

I think he will eventually wind up on Raiders in UFL, with Michael Vick.

Next Season

Giants signed Micah Rucker, a wide receiver, who is listed as 6'6" to replace Burress. Don’t forget that Amani Toomer is also not returning to Giants next season.

Pre–Season

Giants announced pre–season schedule yesterday.

Giants start on August 17th against Panthers. They will also play Bears, Jets, and Patriots in pre–season.

Plaxico Burress I enjoy writing about idiots, and I enjoy writing about New York Giants. However, I hope this is the only time that I ever write about them together.

Two Giants have been giant idiots recently. Plaxico Burress, who caught the winning touchdown in Super Bowl XLII, shot himself in his thigh, with an unregistered handgun. Co–Captain Antonio Pierce, helped him conceal his idiocy.

On Friday night (Nov 28), Pierce drove Burress, from New Jersey, to Latin Quarter nightclub in Manhattan. About 12:20 A.M., when conscientious athletes should be sleeping, Burress was walking to the VIP Room, publicly holding a drink, and privately holding a loaded Glock .40 handgun in his waistband — carried like a true idiot — unholstered, and ready to fire, with the safety off.

Unfortunately, his gun started sliding down his leg, and when Burress grabbed for it with a finger, he shot himself in the thigh. Luckily, the bullet went in and out, without hitting arteries, bones, or innocent bystanders. Burress must have come up with some big tips, because Latin Quarter employees cleaned up his mess, and forgot about it.

After the shooting, Burress, Pierce, and an unidentified female, called hospitals, with a story about a friend, who had accidentally been shot in an Applebee’s, and wanted to avoid publicity. About two hours later, Pierce, with the unlicensed gun in his Escalade’s glove compartment, drove Burress to Presbyterian Hospital, where he registered as Harris Smith at 2:45 A.M.

Although Burress, was recognized — and had previously been a patient there — he persuaded hospital employees not to report his idiotic injury. He stayed in the hospital for about ten hours, and Pierce drove him home, when he was released.

Law & Order I

When the ever–vigilant NYPD learned about Burress’s self–inflicted wound, from a television news report, they sent officers to his home, in Totowa, NJ. When they arrived, Burress was not there, but they were told that his gun, was in the kitchen, and retrieved it. Burress once obtained a concealed–weapon permit for this weapon in Florida, but it had expired. This gun had never been licensed in New York. Burress turned himself in yesterday (Dec 1). Check out a handcuffed Plaxico Burress being led out of the 17th Precinct.

Law & Order II

Plaxico Burress was charged with two counts of second–degree criminal possession of a gun. According to New York Times, he faces:

“a sentence of 3½ to 15 years in prison whether or not prosecutors prove that the individual intended to use the weapon on another person”

Burress is being represented, by Benjamin Brafman, who got “Puff Daddy” acquitted on a weapons charge in 1999. Brafman told reporters:

“Mr. Burress surrendered this morning voluntarily to face these charges. He will be in court later this morning. He intends to plead not guilty. And we will deal with the legal process in a responsible, professional manner.”

Law & Order III

When Jayne worked in NYC emergency rooms, she enjoyed sewing people up, but used to say that she preferred stabbings, because gunshot wounds required additional signatures and documentation. The police also had to be notified.

How did Plaxico Burress get around these rules? Big tips would convince Latin Quarter employees to forget his idiocy, but how did he convince the staff, at one of the best hospitals in the city, to lie for him?

This rightfully annoyed Mayor Bloomberg, who said:

“There’s a reason why hospitals are required by law to immediately call the police department. They didn’t and they should make sure that the people who didn’t no longer work there and I would question why the management didn’t have training in place and didn’t discipline them immediately.”

Now, an annoyed Mayor Bloomberg wants Plaxico Burress to go to jail, saying:

“That’s why the state legislature passed the automatic sentence if you get caught with an illegal gun. I think it would be an outrage if we didn’t prosecute to the fullest extent of the law, particularly people who live in the public domain.”

Law & Order IV

Under examples of “Prohibited Conduct” the NFL personal conduct policy includes:

“possession or distribution of a weapon in violation of state or federal law”

Will Antonio Pierce be punished by league too?

Law & Order V

After Plaxico Burress is punished by New York City, and NFL, he will have to face Giants. Will a felony conviction cancel his new, $35 million contract? If Giants keep Burress, they can place him on non–football–injury list, and will not have to pay him while he is inactive.

But how can they keep a player, who shoots himself, and tries to hide it?