Where Did My Brain Go?

Bear Grylls Reinvents Reality

I thought the revamped Man vs. Wild might be a letdown, but I really enjoyed watching the re–edited version, of Man vs. Wild in The Kimberley, last night.

“I’m not staying out here tonight, but if I were …

It was somehow comforting to hear Bear Grylls say that, while he was standing in a foot of water, which had seemingly, spontaneously generated, during a torrential downpour.

Grylls was building an elevated, chest–high, shelter, which was a necessity, to stay dry there. The Kimberley Development Commission says that “The weather is often hot and humid and extreme weather events often occur,” during the rainy season, which starts in November, and ends in April.

Frankly, the weather was extreme, and Grylls had an active day, which included shimmying down a 40 foot tree: grasping the tree with his legs, while steadying himself with arms, and protecting his “family jewels.” I’m 20 years older than Grylls, but if I had tried that at his age, and succeeded, I would have needed a nap by the time I reached the ground. Grylls is in phenomenal shape, but he deserved a decent meal, and a comfortable bed after his descent.

Guess, what? Bear Grylls is only human.

Ominous Omissions

Bear’s shelter resembled this shelter, which I found by searching for Nick Vroomans. Vroomans runs Staying Alive Survival Services and claims to be the most qualified survival instructor in Australia. Not–so–coincidentally, Vroomans was also credited as survival expert for this episode. So he had help. Big deal. Grylls never acknowledged Vroomans, but he was clearly listed in the credits.

Where’s the Poison?

Grylls snacked on a crucifix spider (shown) which he described as “slightly poisonous” but it was not described as poisonous, anywhere else on the Web.

Two other changes, also struck me. Bear’s canteen, was obviously replenished off–screen, because he only filled it twice. However, Grylls had been thirsty enough to drink his own urine, earlier iin the show, so why quibble?

Absent Aborigines

I think the show originally ended, when Grylls spotted some aborigines, but this time it just ended, without a soul in sight. Perhaps the aborigines demanded credits and residuals.

Either way, it was better than anything else on television last night.

After all, he is still Bear Grylls. Blazing his own trails – turning someone else’s forbidding wilderness, into his personal playground.